Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Location: Wichita Ks
|Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:22 pm Post subject: Notes from a Police Officer...this is too funny
|Note from a police officer
When you see an emergency vehicle behind you with its lights and sirens on,
pull to the RIGHT, and Stop. We are usually required to pass cars on the
When you're driving in the fast lane and you see a cop behind you, don't
go 5 mph under the speed limit. We are not impressed by how safe of a driver you can be, we're trying to go help someone (or catch that guy in
the SUV that just cut you off). Safely move over and let us pass please.
If you get a warning instead of a ticket from a motorcycle cop, go buy a lottery ticket, because you've already beaten the odds.
When you see an officer conducting a traffic stop, or with a suspect in
handcuffs, it is generally not a good idea to approach him and ask for
directions. If you do, don't expect the officer to be nice when he tells
you to get lost, and don't expect the officer to take the time to explain.
If a cop causes a car accident we usually get a ticket, and sometimes we
get suspended. When is the last time you got 3 days off [without pay] for
rear-ending a guy at Wal-Mart.
If you think you can fan all the pot smoke out of the car before we
smell it, good luck.
We know you've had more than 2 beers. When I've had two beers, I didn't
hit six parked cars or drive my car through the front doors of a Toys-R-Us,
pissed my pants, or passed out at a traffic light
Here's how to get out of a ticket, don't break the law!
If you drive a piece of crap, that is why you're getting pulled over. In
one week I pulled over 10 cars for minor equipment violations.
5 out of 10 had no vehicle insurance.
3 out of 10 had suspended driver's licenses.
2 out of 10 had warrants.
1 out of 10 had felony warrants.
1 was a known sex offender with his 12 year old niece in the car without her mother's knowledge.
If you've just been pulled over doing 70 in a 35, do not greet the
officer with "what seems to be the problem, officer".
We get coffee breaks too, and sometimes we run into stores and do some
shopping during them.
When you're the victim of a burglary, take the time you spend waiting
for the officer to find the model #'S and the serial #'S of the stuff that
Some cops are just jerks, but take heart in the fact that other cops
don't like them either.
If it's nighttime and you're driving a vehicle with tinted windows and I
pull you over, it's not because of your skin color.? I usually can't tell
if the vehicle even has a driver until the windows rolled down.
Every time you hear on the news about people running away from a crazed
gunman, someone's son or daughter in a police uniform is running TOWARD
that crazed gunman.
Yes it's true; cops usually don't give other cops tickets. Think of it
as an employee discount, perk or benefit. Other Cops are family and you
wouldn't give your brother a ticket if you were a cop either.
If your local police agency has a helicopter everyone knows it's loud and annoying, but did you know it can cover the same area as 15-20 patrol
officers, and safely chase criminals that are driving 90 MPH through city
streets. Many times the guy has no idea it's there and slows down.
Your 5 year old kid getting pushed down by another 5 year old kid is NOT
a police matter; talk to the other kid's parents, not the police.
If your kid won't do his homework or do his chores, 911 is not the
answer for a uniformed parent.
Police work is...writing reports.
If you rob a gas station you're only going to get $20, but I get to see
a K-9 dog use your arm as a chew toy. For all I care you can keep the $20.
In 1 year of patrol work in a large city only about 10 minutes would be
cool enough to be on the television show, COPS.? But if COPS was about
report writing and accident reports each show would be a year long.
Every traffic stop could end in gunfire, but we have to be polite and
professional until that time.
I've taken about the same amount of men and women to jail for domestic
violence, so NO it's not always the man.
People love fire fighters.
If you find crack pipes in the ladies purse, there is a good chance they
belong to her.
If the light was yellow, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Cops know you pay taxes and that your taxes pay cops' salaries. Cops
also pay taxes, which also pay cops' salaries so, hey; this traffic stop is
on me. Now sign here; press hard, there are five copies.